How To Rebound After a Set-Back.

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We’ve all been there, we’re plugging along in life or business and BAM, something happens to knock us off our feet. Maybe you lose your funding, you’re hit with a health scare or maybe you’re even duped by someone you trusted or with whom you invested.

When you find yourself in that situation, it feels like your world is spinning out of control. How could this happen? How did we let it get this far? But more importantly, how can you get back on track as quickly as possible?

First of all, let’s have a dose of honesty here. Not always, but often these things don’t come out of the blue. There are usually red flags along the way, but instead of taking heed, we dismiss them and march forward. Or we try to gloss them over instead of acknowledging them as the major warning signs they are.

The problem is, we have our sights so fixed on what we think we want, we can’t see what’s right in front of us or perhaps more accurately, we’re unwilling to see it. This is where I think most people get off track. It feels too dangerous to slow down or evaluate our current situation because if we did, we may have to deal with some unpleasant truths.

Maybe we are in over our heads. Maybe our idea isn’t viable. Maybe we do need to end the relationship that’s making us turn to unhealthy foods for comfort. Maybe the person we’re dealing with really doesn’t have our best interests at heart. Ouch, who would like to look at that? It feels awful to come to those realizations.

But what happens when we don’t take our head out of the sand is far worse. We lose money, potentially lots of it. We lose time we can never get back. We lose love we’ve given where it wasn’t deserved. Trusting becomes more difficult. And our self-respect gets hammered harder than a line-backer on Super Bowl Sunday.

As painful as it is to confront the writing on the wall, it’s the first step to rebounding from a set-back. Becoming fully aware that you’re not in a good place takes courage, but it’s worth it. Once you realize you are dissatisfied or truly threatened, you can plan your next move.

It’s not easy to go through defeat, loss or failure, but it is possible to come through it stronger and with more tools for fulfillment. If you’re willing to do the work and learn the lessons, you can use your struggles as a springboard to the next level of success.

Here are key practices to help you rebound with aplomb:

  1. Forgive yourself. This is number one. It is THE MOST important step. If you ate a 2 quarts of ice-cream every night for 6 months, forgive yourself. If you made a bad business decision and lost a lot of money, forgive yourself. If you stayed too long or trusted the wrong person, forgive yourself. We are masters of self-flagellation. We put our shortcomings on auto-loop and play that song over and over until we are so low it would take a tank to drag us out of the shame-spiral we’ve created. This is not the way to rebound. You are HUMAN. We ALL do this. We ALL make bad decisions. And we ALL get screwed over by people not because we deserve it or because we’re stupid, but because sometimes that’s what people do. Forgive yourself so you can move on.

 

  1. Take a pause. You have to reflect on the situation.This isn’t about beating yourself up, it’s about non-judgmental observing. How did you get here? What was happening around you? What were you ignoring? Why were you ignoring it? What were you getting from staying involved in this situation? Try to be an objective witness to your own behavior. Why did you put up with less than what you needed or deserved?

 

  1. Forgive the other person. Forgiving doesn’t mean condoning behavior. It means forgiving the humanness of the other person so you can let go and move on. You don’t have to have warm feeling towards them, unless it’s yourself of course!! You need to forgive so you can get back to a place of non-attachment.

 

  1. Re-evaluate your “why.” Maybe the reason things happened the way they did is because your body and/or your subconscious mind were trying to tell you you were on the wrong path! Maybe you were forcing a situation that was not in your best, highest good. Maybe your soul was doing you a favor by putting road blocks in your way? What if something much better is meant for you? Take a pause and reflect on your purpose and mission. It may have changed.

 

  1. Make a ride-or-die manifesto. Moving forward, you want to make sure everything or everyone you engage with is in alignment with your values. If they are not, they don’t get in the car! What are your non-negotiables? What stop-gaps need to be in place so you can avoid mistakes in the future. Build a team that supports your vision.

Let’s face it, set-backs happen, but you don’t have to stay stuck by your circumstances. YOU have the power to turn things around. Use your power for good and for growing and moving on to the next beautiful phase of life. Namaste.